Recovery weight is a thing right?
Over the past year or so, since having the bag I have put on the most amount of weight I have ever managed to put on before. As in, in March last year I weighed a very small and sick 6 1/2 stone. I was boney, my knees hurt when I lay down and my bum hurt so bad when sitting. It was horrible.
Now however, I am the heaviest I have ever been.
So, I’ve been blaming this on a thing called ‘recovery weight’ since I have been gaining the pounds. And I don’t know if this is really actually a thing to be honest, or just a great excuse for me to be eating (gluten and dairy free) cake. Either way, I have definitely piled on the pounds.
Part of the reason I think this began happening is because I didn’t like the feeling of being hungry for a very long while. And I’m still not sure if I can cope with it now. After months and months of being unable to eat and feeling a painful amount of hunger, I just wanted that feeling to go away all together. Feeling hunger was almost a sign of being sick to me. And now I had the luxury of eating whenever I wanted (except past 9 in the evening) so why shouldn’t I!
Well, there was a good reason. I don’t know whether I regret putting on all the weight after my ostomy surgery. Infact its a good indicator of how much weight my body can hold on to and how far I have come. But I need to stop using this as an indicator and begin to loose weight healthily. Which is hard. When you can’t do much exercise and are on steroids…
I do however vow that from now on I’m being healthier. With the surgeries waiting in the wings and even better health on the horizon I want to feel as good about myself and be as strong as I can. What I’ve learnt from IBD, steroids and weight gain/loss, is that you just have to suck it up. You can’t blame yourself fully or not blame yourself at all for your change in weight. All you can do is look at how you want to be in the future and set yourself up to get there.